Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? Well according to Vogue’s newest article written by Chanté Joseph it is. In her article she talks about how women online nowadays are posting their boyfriends less and less, or are even blurring out or conveniently not showing their faces. She says that “To me, it feels like the result of women wanting to straddle two worlds: one where they can receive the social benefits of having a partner, but also not appear so boyfriend-obsessed that they come across as quite culturally loser-ish.” She also goes on to state that “Even partnered women will lament men and heterosexuality—partly in solidarity with other women, but also because it is now fundamentally uncool to be a boyfriend-girl.” In this article many of the interviews she did, most women said it would be “embarrassing” or “boastful” to post about their boyfriend because “the dating landscape is really bad at the moment.” One person even said “Boyfriends are out of style. They won’t come back in until they start acting right.” As a result, this concept has sparked a lot of controversy on the internet with some people agreeing with Chanté, while others say that her article is “Making men look bad” and is “dramatic.”

This article mainly talks about adult women’s perspective, but I wanted to see how the presence of this on social media has affected teenagers and their opinion on the topic. The responses I got surprised me. Out of the people that I interviewed they all went against what Chanté wrote. Most said, “Men aren’t a problem in a relationship” but they also wouldn’t “generalize to say that all men are the problem in relationships, just as I wouldn’t say all women aren’t the problem in relationships.” The overall response was that depending on the relationship, problems could arise from either person. The discussed problem with men though was, “they might struggle when showing emotions because social media portrays that men need to hide their vulnerability and true feelings, which can cause communication problems in a relationship,” and could be because of the way they were raised. Which I think leads to the idea in Chanté’s article about men being the issue in relationships; it might not just be them, and if they are the issue, it could be because of the way they are expected to be because of the pressures of social media.

So how does social media affect kids’ view of relationships? Girls I interviewed said, “Social media has changed my view on dating because a lot of the time; I can only see the perfect parts of a relationship online, which then can sometimes make people compare their relationships to others and feel less loved or insecure that their own relationship doesn’t seem the same as the ones online.” While the boys I interviewed said, “I don’t really think social media has affected my view on dating, to be honest. I don’t really use social media that way.” This point agrees with Chanté about how women are mainly affected but disagrees saying that it doesn’t make women feel embarrassed, but makes them feel insecure about their own relationship or not having one in general. Throughout these interviews the main idea was that having a boyfriend isn’t embarrassing, and depending on how you are, you either are happy being single, want a relationship, or are happy in a relationship.

I think that in today’s society depending on the content you see and who you interact with, it can shape the way you view dating. If I see a lot of “I hate my boyfriend” content on social media, then I’ll probably start agreeing with what it’s saying and view relationships that way. Same goes for interactions, relatively attractive couples are praised, while ones that are unexpected are hated on. An example is recently I was out with my friends and we saw a couple that went to our school. We all talked about how cute they were and how we all hoped they lasted, but when I see some couples I get grossed out and laugh because I just can’t believe they are dating. I do this because of this standard that society has set about relationship standards and attractiveness. I think that it is personally unfair to blame men on problems in relationships, because women can cause issues too. An example of this is if a man doesn’t listen, a woman would say he’s a toxic manipulative man, but in reality the woman could have just misinterpreted him and he was busy when she was talking to him.

In conclusion, teenagers’ opinions on men in relationships is, they are not always the problem, and that Chanté’s article is inaccurate because issues depend on the relationship and the people in that relationship. Chanté’s article is also inaccurate because of the way it portrays social media influence. Social media isn’t always negative and doesn’t always make having a boyfriend feel embarrassing or awkward. In the end the societal pressures and standards we have for relationships are what I think makes it embarrassing sometimes, but other than that being in a relationship is just a normal part of growing up and life.